There seems to be no escape from the news of this global pandemic COVID19.  The effects this is having on people’s finances, their livelihood and mental health has touched us all in some way including myself.  I look for gratitude and how I can serve others at this trying time.  As a veteran in the funeral industry and now as the founder and CEO of Celebrations of Life Toronto, the bereaved families are top of mind for me.  I am sensitive to the added layer of stress and weight of this taxing time upon people who have had a death of a family member, friend or someone in their community.  The impact of the requirements set forward are denying people the traditions and support they would be accustomed to when saying goodbye. The support of friends and community is a touchstone to our healing rituals. While friends and community are unable to attend to address their own loss and unable to perform the act of supporting immediate family.  

The best advice I have read and wish to share is to continue communicating and talking about your loved one.  It is my hope people will find comfort in knowing that when this is all over, you can plan a memorial event.  A further time for healing and connection awaits in the future.  Don’t assume you won’t be able to honour your loved one.

For those with cultural and religious traditions surrounding the presence of the deceased, there is certainly a challenge.  Families are unable to hold a gathering that includes extended family and friends and is a burden that may complicate their grief process.  Those who cannot attend are also in the position of possibly being alone and unable to honour their loved one. However, funeral homes are doing their best to utilize technology and provide an opportunity to live-stream ceremonies. Many platforms such as Facebook and E-vite have designed software to facilitate this.  People on their own are connecting through WhatsApp and Zoom to grieve together.

For others planning a memorial in the future with an uncertain timeline can be unsettling. We have witnessed the baby boomers leaning towards celebrations of life and memorials after immediate cremation and private burials for many years now. This trend became about a new ritual focusing on the positive and joyous aspects of a persons life.  These memorials are held with no fixed timelines or in any one fixed location.  They can be any time, in any place.  The flexibility of this practice allows the healing to continue in the future for those affected by delayed gatherings because of COVID19.

Knowing you can plan in the future doesn’t mean it is any easier to lose someone while compounded by the isolating guidelines in place.  I encourage people to seek out help and positive support right now.  The suppression of our fears can lead to depression and anxiety. It’s more important than ever to pay attention to caring for others and ourselves.  Please contact me if you are struggling with grief while isolated, I’m a compassionate and experienced listener to the bereaved.  Celebrations of Life Toronto 416-817-8772.  Contact your local funeral home for further grief resources or your health care professional.

I wish to express my gratitude to the front line workers, especially medical care workers and funeral home personnel.  My sincerest thanks to essential workers, like my husband, who under a great deal of stress find ways to keep things going for all of us.